I Love Allen Walker
by NessaTheSinner
Summary: A drabble series of Allen Walker and other characters. Mostly pairings but there may be a friendship drabble or a couple. Each chapter is a one shot so no they won't connect with each other unless I put like part 1 or part 2 etc. Will contain some AUs and actual storyline so be ready for spoilers. Some will be dark and angsty while other fluffy and sweet. Enjoy!
1. Broken You Are

From the very moment she met him she instantly fell in love. The kind charming smile, the sad eyes, his polite demeanor, just how perfect in over all he was. It fascinated her just how beautiful and amazing he was in every single way. Watching him push himself to the very limit broke her heart. To see just how hard he was fighting no matter how hopeless it seemed.

So that's why seeing him so broken after the level four's attack broke her heart. He was leaning against the pillar slumped on the ground. His body bleeding and broken. She approached him quietly, horrified at the state he was in. His head tipped back and her heart froze when she saw his face. Blood ran down the left side of his face covering his curse mark. His face was covered in scratches and forming bruises. His eyes were closed but when he opened them she saw just how hopeless and sad he felt. All the feelings of regret and despair that weren't her's weighed her down.

"Allen." She softly called out to him.

"I'm here." He whispered back not moving the slightest.

"Are you okay?" She asked crouching next to him.

"Yes. You should go tend to the others I'm sure there's others in need of more help then I am." How selfless he was never failed to astound her.." He had to have at least 5 broken bones yet she's still telling him to take care of the others first.

"Allen you're badly hurt. Come on I'll help you to the infirmary." She offered.

"Please Lou Fa... just let me stay here a while longer." He pleaded. She said nothing in response to that. She sat next to him making sure not to touch him in fear of hurting or aggravating any of his injuries. So they sat there in silence. Lou Fa watching him and Allen just staring lifelessly into nothing thinking over what he could have done what he should've done to save all those people who were hurt or died. How it was his fault, how he's so useless, and how he's so very stupid.

Unsure of how to help him but wanting to anyway she grasped his right hand and held tight. It broke him out of his thoughts and he was staring at her in shock.

"L-Lou Fa?" He said in a questioning tone.

"It's not your fault...none of this.. none of it at all is your fault.." She said starting to cry. Suddenly she leaned forward and kissed him.

He was shocked.. since when did she feel this way? To love a monster like him who caused the death of countless... she didn't deserve this. To be near a demon like him. Just because he took the job of a holy man doesn't mean he was any better of a person. He was still just a street rat who should have died a long long time ago.

She broke away and he noticed there was fire in her eyes.

"Don't." She simply said.

"Don't what?" He asked a bit confused.

"Don't think of yourself like that." She commanded before kissing him ago. This time he kissed back. After a while when they both needed air they broke apart again.

Suddenly her face flushed up.

"Oh uhmm I'm so sorry!" She suddenly yelled.

"Sorry for what?" He playfully asked yet the sadness still not gone from his eyes was a little lighter.

"For you know.. kissing you.." She whispered the last bit her face beet red.

"No there's nothing to be sorry for." He shook his head and this time it was he who kissed her.


	2. Coffee Shop

Kanda hated sweet things. Absolutely hated them. In fact he really hated all foods except soba. So when the idiot rabbit grabbed him straight out of class and dragged him all the way to a new cafe named "Sweet Sweets" (unoriginal name I know) that just opened he was pissed. No he was beyond pissed he was furious. Why couldn't the stupid rabbit just fucking go alone or take Lenalee instead was beyond him especially when the red head just wanted to chatter about menial things as Kanda sat there and scowled. The waitress came up to take their order and he instantly had to take a double take.

She had long silver hair and sparkling mercury eyes. She wore a standard uniform with a blue apron with the store logo on it but even with that you still could see her thin form. She was skinny but still had curves. A red scar or is it a tattoo though marred her face. It was red and ran through her eye ending up in a pentagon above her eye.

"What can I get you?" She asked politely smiling as she did.

"Hmm I don't know.. the strawberry short cake sounds good.. how about you Yuu?" The rabbit said breaking him out of his thoughts.

"Che it's not soba." Kanda simply complained.

"Well if you like soba we do have soba flavored dango." She suggested seemingly not bothered at all but his rude attitude.

"Soba flavored dango?" Lavi questioned. Not that he disliked soba or dango but he's never heard of such a thing before.

"Yeah it's a new thing the chef Jerry came up with a while back. It tastes really good I can promise that!" She said happily.

"One plate then." He simply said already swept away by those beautiful mercury eyes.

"Great how about you then?" She asked turning her attention to the rabbit.

"I'll get the blueberry muffin then." Lavi decided after looking over the menu a bit more.

"I'll be back soon then with your orders~" She said and walked off. A slight sway to her hips as she did. As soon as she disappeared into the kitchen Lavi turned to face him.

"So she's pretty isn't she?" He asked a mischievous flint to his eyes.

"Che I suppose she's not disgusting." He simply said refusing to make eye contact with the smirking red head.

"Is that so? Well since you're not interested maybe I'll just-"

"Lenalee." Kanda interrupted.

"What?" Lavi asked confused why he suddenly brought up Lenalee. Kanda smirked which sent a shiver of fear down Lavi's spine.

"I wonder what Lenalee would say to that." Kanda teased still smirking.

"Ahaha I have no idea what you're talking about I was just saying maybe next time I'll order the strawberry short cake anyway." The rabbit quickly said.

"Che." Was all Kanda said but a satisfied smug smirk rested firmly on his lips.

After that, that cafe became Kanda's favorite. He visited almost every day and simply sat there eating his soba flavored dango contentedly as he watched from the corner of his eye a certain silver haired waitress drift in and out of the kitchen as she worked. Yeah he was content with that. Mysteriously Lavi never went there again. Though he had been around the area stalking Kanda after school to see where he's been disappearing off to alone lately. Unfortunetly... Lavi doesn't really know what the meaning of discreet was and after Kanda dropped a anonymous note to Komui that Lavi lately has been harassing his dear sister, Lavi never did attempt such a thing again.


	3. A Clown You Say

She clearly remembered the first time she saw it. It was in the Asian Branch of course. She was so scared.. scared for her friends... and scared for Allen but also herself. This was the first time she's ever seen an akuma before though she's heard rumors.

It was first the cloak. It was beautiful though odd as if it was missing something the mask seemed to be asking her what it is until then it was him. The cape trailing like the wings of an angel and his silver hair flying as he did. His eye was activated again she noted.

"My right hand exists for humans. My left hand exists for demons. Rest in peace akuma." He said with conviction he used to lack. With serious eyes he raised up his arms and suddenly beams of white shot through the akuma almost blinding her with it's brilliance.

She was shocked. Part of her screamed for joy he finally was healed but the other part was sad now he'll leave won't he? He'll go back to the European branch and fight in the war. A war he might not survive. If he won this fight and left she may never see him again.

She cheered anyway though because this is what he wanted. He had friends he wanted to get back to. The words he said though... he was only 4 years younger then her. He was barely taller then her too.. what was a kid doing fighting in a war...

No he wasn't a kind. He probably hasn't be in a long long time. She shook her head to clear such thoughts. War changes everything.

Honestly.. innocence such a ironic name. It's the very substance that's stripped him of his own.

It's alright though because she believed in him. Believed in the silver haired boy that right now was smiling back at them in the sparkling remains of another soul that's been saved.

He'll be fine, he'll be fine because he's strong. Strong enough to smile even now.

_Too bad what she doesn't know will hurt her. God's clown hmm? A clown how truly pitiful that title is. Clowns smile even when there's nothing to smile about. Maybe that's why clowns are considered cruel. The fake smile that will mock her dreams every night. Every night since... since the moment in front of her Allen Walker_ _**died...**_


	4. Another Sin Like Always

It scared him honestly. Bak Chang was a full grown man now not the little boy who'd hide under the bed that he used to be whenever a storm passed by. Not much scared him other then maybe Komui, akuma, Fou, and talking to Lenalee... but this wasn't just fear or worry no this was terrifying.

Staring into those determined mercury eyes that wouldn't take no for a answer and especially his words.

"I am no longer human!" He insisted the wild look in his eyes that Bak would never forget.

He didn't mean for Allen to take his words like that. He meant to be encouraging or inspiring but to get the boy to think such a thing.. that all he was anymore was just a weapon. It scared him how true that was to the Vatican. Bak however couldn't help but feel sympathy.

This boy no more then a child really is just another soldier now. A weapon, something to be used.

The future was a dark and dreary place Bak decided but there was hope. Hope in the form of that boy. Even if he thought he was too young it was honestly too late.

He wondered what kind of punishment awaited them in the after life it surely cannot be good for all he and the rest of the heads have done. No it's not just the heads either, the entire order really.

At the gates of hell what awaits them? Nothing pretty that's for sure. He just hopes maybe one day Allen can forgive him. Him and everyone else.

There really isn't any turning back now. The sin has already been committed. It was just one more though in the long list he's acquired. This was a war though and there truly is no room for empathy.

Not as long as you want to win and surely those who fight want victory. May it take the form of defeat or not is the question.

"May luck be with you Allen Walker." He said before the boy walked away and into certain danger and likely death. But who cares? A lot of people do for in some way Allen Walker has touched them all. Yet still no one's going to stop him. No one because this is war.

A war where the number of lives do not matter. Only results. The outcomes dictate those who rise as victorious. So the Vatican tells them. That man too the inspector breathes down their necks waiting for a slip up an excuse to remove them. He's also the man who hurt Lenalee so much.

Something Bak can not forgive him for even if he begged on his hands and knees and groveled before him.

Bak wasn't there personally but he's seen the footage. A young girl crying and strapped down to a bed as they tested on her as if she was a mere animal.

Just another sin for he never even objected to it.

Just another sin...

* * *

**I've been on a depressing roll lately haven't I? Anyway I know I don't usually put a A/N in here but I just wanted to ask if any of you had any chapter ideas or suggestions for one? Like a prompt. If you do or just have a pairing request please review and tell me it! **


	5. A Pass For Now

**For Danizinhachan thank you so much for being the first to review and to actually suggest something! So this is for you!**

* * *

Allen Walker, suspected to be incohorts with the Noah, possible the 14th though not confirmed 100% yet is highly likely so far. Arrived when he was 15, 16 as of now, 174cm or 5'8, and 56 kg or 123 lb. Is the holder of Crowned Clown and the sword of Exorcism which notably seem to be two separate pieces of his innocence. He was cursed by a akuma which he has identified to be his foster father Mana Walker.

He seems polite usually and is always smiling for no reason in particular it seems. He seemed defensive when I asked him about the musical score the golem Cross created held inside of him. Could there be a connection between Cross and the Noah then as Cross's custom made golem held something that could be used to control the Ark?

He has been acting suspicious lately but he doesn't seem to be a Noah at least not fully transformed as he doesn't heal when wounded immediately like the others have been reported to do.

His regular routine unless on a mission consists of waking up around 6, doing an odd form of push ups with only one hand, getting breakfast, training in the training room (rarely alone a common sparring partner for him is Yuu Kanda and occasionally Lavi Bookman), eating lunch, training more alone outside, helping out around the Order, dinner, then a shower, and sleep.

Walker seems to be jumpy lately. Jumping back at his own reflection it seems and staring off at random items more often reflective things like mirrors, metal, and windows.

After a few days of this he suddenly stopped and continued on normally though his eyes still seem to linger. Quite curious...

He seems to specifically like Mitarashi Dango and in general sweet things. He once ingested poison without any ill effects though it was only mildly toxic.

Walker holds in general good relations with everyone aside from Yuu Kanda. The two seem to bicker childishly often over menial things and have a grudge against each other. When I questioned Walker about it he simply stated

"I just can't deal with such a rude uncooperative ass."

When I asked Kanda of it he said

"Che the fucking moyashi just pisses me off."

The two do seem to spend a good amount of time together daily though it is mostly fighting and unless they are sparring never alone.

He has shown no signs of actually betraying the order no harboring the 14th since the Ark incident. He seems at least to be loyal to the Order and dedicated though perhaps a bit put off but his careful monitoring.

Ater the Noah known as Lulubell invaded the European branch and tried to steal the egg and the level four was defeated by exorcist Lenalee Lee and Allen Walker himself, I found him injured against a pillar, during which before I got him help he was muttering under his breath

"My fault.. all mine... I couldn't... I should've.. I'm so useless I couldn't protect them.."

In which case he could have been acting and been aware of my presence but to me he sounded sincere though that could be put up for debate as he has been reported to be a good actor and possess a strong poker face.

Fitting for a clown I may add.

Recommendation is that Allen Walker still be put under supervision but he is fine to go out and continue doing missions but I recommend either I or another accompany him just to be cautious.

Personally I do not believe he is a traitor but no concrete evidence has yet been found. He seems trustworthy enough though and I do believe him a good person.


	6. Welcome Home Yuu

Glares trying to burn through his skull as he walked by. He could just feel it even when everyone averted their eyes when he turned around. No one said anything but he just knew it.

He understood to. That's right Kanda Yuu was for once understanding because he felt the same. He is guilty for Allen Walker's death and everyone knew it.

He was the idiot who wasn't paying attention and almost got hit causing Allen to jump in front of him and take it for him.

He walked into his room and sighed. Gloomy and dark as always the way he liked it. Or at least the way he used to like it before... before the fragile truce he and Allen had became something more. Now without the younger boy everything seemed so much more empty. While there used to hold meaning in his daily routine and all he did now everything was just so... just so pointless.

He was gone what could he do? Allen Walker who in the past few months lit up his life like no other was gone. He'd never come back either no matter how much Kanda wanted him too.

Walking to the corner of the room he picked up a white button up shirt that was on the floor. It was just one of the many things of Allen that had found his way to Kanda's room and stayed. There was also the beansprout's red ribbon, his spare tie, and a book that Allen was reading before the mission. The smell of lilac permeated the air as if he was still there though it's already been a week.

Allen Walker.. wasn't he supposed to disgust him? He was the cursed one after all. The suspected 14th and a naive fool to boot. At the same time that was part of what drew Kanda to him. Innocence and kindness radiated from the boy enveloping him in warmth Kanda didn't know he was capable of feeling at all. A bright gentle smile that shined like the sun, and then the chiming laughter that was like music.

Disgusting is the opposite of what Kanda would use to describe him. He was simply enchanting and Kanda eventually did give in and said it.

Too late and too soon yet he knew it was going to happen. Relationships weren't very valued in a war after all. It's always the fight that takes priority, something the idiot moyashi didn't understand. Kanda knew all that, he's known from the start, even from the day he woke up in that lab, and yet.. he still let it happen. He let his heart be opened and he cursed the fact he did.

Blood flowed from the indents of his nails on his palm as he clenched tightly his hands into fists.

If only he noticed the Noah before and dodged. If only he was fast enough to push Allen away. If only he wasn't so stupid. So very stupid...

***Knock Knock***

Came from the door. Kanda glanced towards it but then his head dropped back down. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now so whoever was there can just screw themselves over and go away.

***Knock Knock Knock***

It came again this time louder. With a scowl Kanda looked the opposite direction refusing to acknowledge whoever was there but the noise rung in his head anyway.

***Knock Knock***

Again it went but harder and louder as if someone was almost punching the door. His short patience snapped and he flung open the door growling out harshly.

"WHAT!"

At the door and in front of him now was **_him_**.

"Bakanda you should answer your door politely." The young british teen said pouting slightly.

"W-what but you died!" Kanda said shocked.

"That's right I did. I've left this world. I no longer exist except, in here." He finished with a pause. He spread his hand over Kanda's chest above his heart. Kanda gripped the hand that was on his chest tightly as if he was afraid it'd disappear.

"Then why? Why are you?"

"You have to tell me. I'm not really Allen Walker you know. I'm a figment of your imagination." Allen or not Allen said.

"Am I going crazy then?" Kanda asked calmly. Which by all rights he shouldn't be.

"Hmm that's something you'll have to decide for yourself. So aren't you going to invite me in? It is common courtesy ya know." He said cheekily. Kanda stepped aside and the boy walked in immediately sitting at the foot of the bed.

"If you're not the moyashi why do you act so much like him?"

"Simple I'm part of you and you spend more time observing him then you'd like to admit."

"Then what is this? If I'm not going insane why do I see you and why can I talk to you." He demanded.

"Stupid Bakanda haven't you figured it out by now. This is a dream you fool a simple dream."

"A dream..."

"He's mad you know."

"Who is?"

"Me or who you want me to be." He said staring right into Kanda's eyes.

"The beansprout?" Kanda asked wanting confirmation.

"Yeah. Crown Clown is crying right now. Mugen can hear him. Allen wants to tell you to suck it up and move on because it's not like you to be so down and it's unnatural."

"If he doesn't like it so much he shouldn't have jumped in the way. I would've healed but he didn't." He said resentment and anger leaking into his voice.

"He says he doesn't regret a thing. So don't you either. He also says he loves you and now it's time to wake up. Wake up from your little dream because now it's lasted too long. Far too long." And suddenly Allen or fake Allen got up and clapped his hands right in front of Kanda's face.

The next thing Kanda knew he was awake in a bed in what seems to be the medical wing of the Order and staring up into the worried faces of both Lavi and Lenalee of the which the latter threw her arms around him.

"Oh my God! Kanda never do anything like that again! You scared us all!" She demanded tears running down her cheeks.

He said nothing as he suddenly remembered everything. He tried the first few days he really did try after Allen's death but soon he gave in and with mugen tried to kill himself...

"_You heard her don't ever do it again._" A voice floated into his ears. He recognized that voice which he only heard moments before.

_Moyashi..._

"_This really is goodbye this time but live okay. I'm serious if next time you almost cross the plane is because of suicide I really am going to rekill you Bakanda. So live and then come back to me. Goodbye for now Yuu._" The voice said before it stayed silent. And it never spoke again. Not when Lenalee got married nor when Lavi died, not even at the final battle between Noah and exorcist.

There was one exception of course because there was always one. The last breathes of Yuu Kanda of course. Just before the samurai who had lived a full life died the voice he's missed all these years spoke once more.

_"Welcome home Yuu._"

* * *

**I don't even think this counts as a drabble anymore it's a bit long but who cares?! XD I actually don't know what happened in the middle I planned it to be much shorter and not expand in the future at all but I started writing and somehow this happened? This seems to happen a lot to me actually... lol I think it's alright though. **


	7. 3 Months

Lenalee had a crush. A crush as in she like liked someone. Of course she kept it secret though in case her brother decided to do something drastic... she couldn't help it though. Every time he smiled at her, it was just so fake and deep down she could see the sadness still there and it tore at her heart. Yet it was those rare moments when they were alone and just enjoying each other's company that she saw **it**.

A real smile. It was so bright she though she went blind.

"Lenalee? Are you okay?" He asked worriedly at her unresponsiveness.

"Huh? Oh uhm repeat that again please?" She asked quickly.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to go back inside it looks like it's going to storm." He said as he looked up at the dark clouds in the distance that were steadily moving towards them.

"Sure." She simply said. He got up first and then turned to offer her his hand. Okay so him being basically the perfect gentleman did help develop this little crush of her's a little but who could blame her? Tons of finder girls all over the Order drooled over him on a daily basis just because of that. She placed her small hand in his slight larger one and he pulled her up onto her feet.

"Well it was nice while it lasted." He said sadly.

"What do you mean?" She asked confused. Did he mean the day because he knows it'll come back tomorrow right? It's not like they were due any missions for a while.

"If I go to hell we will be saved in the end. If I go to heaven we will surely meet again. There must be punishment waiting at the gates of hell to welcome me." He said plainly quoting his favorite song. (A Happy Death lyrics by Zoozbuh)

"Allen?" She said in a concerned voice.

"Wake up Lenalee. It's not time for you to join me yet. This is goodbye." He said smiling at her resignedly. He leaned forward and kissed her forward and suddenly vanished into hundreds of white rose petals. She blinked and the next time she opened her eyes she was in a bed. She winced at the bright lights that shone down into her eyes before adjusting.

A nurse walked in and asked her out of concern " are you feeling okay?"

"Where's Allen?" She blurted out.

"Allen Walker?" She asked for confirmation. Lenalee nodded her head afraid to speak less her voice would give out on her. The nurse looked sadly to the floor.

" passed away 3 months ago. you've been in a coma for the last 3 months."

* * *

**I love killing off Allen don't I? I seem to be reusing the whole dream thing and Allen's death but it's because I love scenes like this~ Review please and tell me what you think~**


End file.
